I got pregnant with my ex some months back but he denied it and I also refused to abort it. Before I realized I was pregnant, I met a really nice man who was interested in me. He was my lecturer. When he got to know I was pregnant with my ex, he didn’t leave me. He took care of me and advised me of the consequences of keeping the baby or aborting. I deferred my program and stayed with the lecturer in his home.
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My parents knew nothing about it since they’ll disown me immediately they got a glue.
This lecturer really took care of my needs. He paid all my bills and bought the kinds of stuff the arriving baby in due months time would need.
After 6 months, a tragic happened whereby I lost my baby. I fell from a staircase one afternoon when I was alone in the lecturer’s house and it took hours before he came back to find me unconscious and in a pool of blood. He rushed me to the hospital but they couldn’t save my baby…
A few weeks later I woke up to see a missed call from my ex. I didn’t know he knew a lecturer was taking care of me and his baby. It was when I called him back that he told me everything and how much he still loved me. I knew he only loved my body but I didn’t want to believe that. I made myself believed his lies because I loved him so much and no matter how painful I knew he didn’t love me, I still went back to him.
I’m dating both the lecturer and my ex and even though I know my ex isn’t good for me, I just don’t care.
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But right now I’m confused. I know I’m on the wrong path when I continue seeing my ex but I’m just so addicted to him that I can’t do without him.
I really want to forget him but I don’t know how and so my life keeps drifting away from him.
You are not being fair to yourself and the lecturer. As you said, your ex isn’t good for you. Accept that fact and move on. Don’t let your life drift away because of some love you feel for a mere human being. Remember, in the end, we only have to account for what we did in this life. He won’t be there at the end when you are accounting for what you did with this life. Stop wasting your time and do what you’ll be proud of in the next years. If you don’t love the lecturer, tell him and let him go. Don’t waste your time like how you are letting someone waste yours. Live a life that’s worth being proud of tomorrow, not what you’ll be proud of today. A word to the wise